Dang that title is an innuendo.
ANYWAY
I think I need to do another letter to the character. She didn't answer my last one, and as I am on Facebook, I believe the correct way to deal with this situation is to KEEP BUGGING HER TILL SHE DOES. (for the record, that is a joke, because I know if anyone reads that they'll ask.)
Not like anyone reads this anyway.
Dear Alanna,
You did not completely disappoint me this time around. Only somewhat. See, what I love about you is that even though you get sluttier and less adorable (did you know google chrome recognizes "sluttier" as a word? Wait, you don't know what that is. You're from the middle ages. Also, you're NOT REAL.) by the minute, you also got more badass. You don't go all OMG I LOVE YOU SO IM GONNA JUST BETRAY LITTLE ADORABLE PAGE ALANNA AND EVERYTHING SHE WORKED FOR FOR LIKE FIVE YEARS AND JUST SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE BEING ALL ILOVEYOU! WITH JON. Instead, well, you've asserted yourself as a total BA to that jerk prince of yours, who is now flirting with some DUMB BLONDE CHICK WHO'S HOTTER THAN YOU AND SLUTTIER BUT HEY YOU'RE BETTER THAN THEM SO WHO EVEN CARES because you have George who is way better anyway. I always preferred him.
I like your performance regarding the little shaman girls. And Ishak deserved to die. Do not cross a girl who rides horses, does magic, wields epic swords of awesome, and has a pet cat that may in fact be a god. Basically, is someone that cool tells you not to do something, for god's sake don't do it.
That is all.
-your least-favorite person in the world besides Duke Roger,
Manon
What would make me really happy right now:
-sushiiii
-more books
-more reading time
-to not be so tired
Next book: either Lioness Rampant or Enclave
PS this book is one of the few examples of the love triangle of doom (see Matched for an explanation of this, I might even start making posts on this sort of thing) that I actually like. I'm making a new tag: Love Triangle Of Doom.
Showing posts with label Love Triangle Of Doom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love Triangle Of Doom. Show all posts
Friday, June 17, 2011
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Matched
Matched is the first book I've encountered by Ally Condie. (Wanna get the author's name in there early cuz I've heard this isn't the only "Matched" in popular YA literature.)
Okay, so I found this book on Amazon while hunting for more good YA dystopians (Yay futuristic hell holes!) and I read this first chapter anditwasgood. So I bought it.
I actually enjoyed it quite a bit, but I'm still going to be Critical in this one.
THIS IS WHAT WAS GOOD ABOUT THIS BOOK. (I had English finals today so I'm not even gonna try to be smart. Be prepared for poor grammar and random capitalization.) I like the writing style. It's not like the Goddess Of Writing Jodi Piccoult, but it's pretty. Most dystopians, like say, the Hunger Games, begin with a main character that already knows that the government is evil and Man This Place Sucks and all that because they're already a victim and have been their whole lives. However, this is the first one I've read so far where the character actually believed due to her lifetime of indoctrination that the Futuristic Conspiracy To Control Our Minds! was actually the way to go. Gradually she's been submerged into the idea of These Dudes Are Whacked and People Are Dying Man, mostly through Ky, who is in fact the character who knows how Man This Place Sucks. The dystopia itself was also well-developed. I think I'm going to come up with a set of guidelines for well-developed alternative universes/dystopias:
Each one needs to establish:
-the standard mode of transportation (for instance, we have cars and sometimes planes. The Hunger Games has trains. Uglies has hoverboards and hovercars. Matched has a hovertrain or airtrain or something.)
-the way they get their food (we buy it at a store and cook it ourselves, or go to a restaurant. We generally dispense it through a refrigerator. Uglies get fed through a hole in the wall where Magical Objects of Awesome! come out. Hunger Games people hunt (but only if they're badass) or buy it from the black market (if they're semi-badass) or get it from the government if they're chicken.
-propaganda--what makes them obey (uglies: YOU MUST BE PRETTY OMG. Hunger Games: well, the hunger games themselves. Matched: everything is better here because we use probability and our people livelongerandarehappierandcrap.)
-main source of entertainment--what the people do for fun. (Hunger games: watch the hunger games on TV [we're talking capitol idiots here] uglies: go to parties and get creepy surgeries. Matched: game center, music hall, movie showings, leisure activities)
-Clothing: there must be a fashion scheme. (matched: uniforms denoting students, workers and officials; Uglies: crazy fashioncostumethingies for pretties, and didn't the uglies have like a uniform or something? Hunger Games: lots of raggy old cloth stuff. They're madpooryo.)
-Government Creepers: like the gestapo. Publicly known; usually feared. (Hunger games: peacekeepers. Matched: Officials. Uglies: wardens. Also Special Circumstances, but less public.)
-Fancy Board Of Government Jerks Who Decide Stuff (Uglies: the Pretty Committee. HG: the Gamemakers. Matched: I think we find out in the next volume xDD )[I just realized that was my first emote all post.]
-I think they're all communists. (actually, that's not a principle. But i think it's true. I might make a post entirely devoted to the fact that I think that Matched, The Hunger Games, and Uglies are all set in communist "futures" and it's all 1984alloveragain.)
Ok, now for my Critiques:
I read all fourhundredsomeodd pages and I still don't feel like I'm BFFs with Cassia, Ky, Em and Xander. They're not the most developed characters, and they're still kind of in that stage of development like the book just started and I don't know them yet. I think the most developed characters were Bram and the granfather, and since Grandpa died in like chapter four, that's saying something.
AND THE LOVE TRIANGLE OMG. It's less creative than Twilight. It pretty much IS twilight. I am going to outline a situation, and you try to think of every YA novel with this basic scenario or one very similar:
Boy1 likes girl. Girl likes boy but doesn't know it yet. Girl meets boy2 and falls in OMGlove! but girl and boy2 can't be together. girl finds out about boy1 but since she can have him he's unappealing even though he's better for her and everyone around her. He's just not as hot. So girl makes out with both of them and eventually either ends up with boy2 or realizes that boy1 was better all along, often following the death or destruction, if not betrayal, of boy2.
How many books did you come up with? Like, every YA novel ever? See? they're all the same. WillsomeonepleasewritemeagooddystopiannovelwithaNEWromanticsituationthankyou?
Ok. That is all.
What would make me really happy right now:
-Suuushiiii
-for someone to write me a novel according to the guidelines above.
-no more tests please school ok?
-more time to read at school
next book: The Woman Who Rides Like A Man
CHALLENGE: outline a romance taking place in a dystopia that is ORIGINAL.
Okay, so I found this book on Amazon while hunting for more good YA dystopians (Yay futuristic hell holes!) and I read this first chapter anditwasgood. So I bought it.
I actually enjoyed it quite a bit, but I'm still going to be Critical in this one.
THIS IS WHAT WAS GOOD ABOUT THIS BOOK. (I had English finals today so I'm not even gonna try to be smart. Be prepared for poor grammar and random capitalization.) I like the writing style. It's not like the Goddess Of Writing Jodi Piccoult, but it's pretty. Most dystopians, like say, the Hunger Games, begin with a main character that already knows that the government is evil and Man This Place Sucks and all that because they're already a victim and have been their whole lives. However, this is the first one I've read so far where the character actually believed due to her lifetime of indoctrination that the Futuristic Conspiracy To Control Our Minds! was actually the way to go. Gradually she's been submerged into the idea of These Dudes Are Whacked and People Are Dying Man, mostly through Ky, who is in fact the character who knows how Man This Place Sucks. The dystopia itself was also well-developed. I think I'm going to come up with a set of guidelines for well-developed alternative universes/dystopias:
Each one needs to establish:
-the standard mode of transportation (for instance, we have cars and sometimes planes. The Hunger Games has trains. Uglies has hoverboards and hovercars. Matched has a hovertrain or airtrain or something.)
-the way they get their food (we buy it at a store and cook it ourselves, or go to a restaurant. We generally dispense it through a refrigerator. Uglies get fed through a hole in the wall where Magical Objects of Awesome! come out. Hunger Games people hunt (but only if they're badass) or buy it from the black market (if they're semi-badass) or get it from the government if they're chicken.
-propaganda--what makes them obey (uglies: YOU MUST BE PRETTY OMG. Hunger Games: well, the hunger games themselves. Matched: everything is better here because we use probability and our people livelongerandarehappierandcrap.)
-main source of entertainment--what the people do for fun. (Hunger games: watch the hunger games on TV [we're talking capitol idiots here] uglies: go to parties and get creepy surgeries. Matched: game center, music hall, movie showings, leisure activities)
-Clothing: there must be a fashion scheme. (matched: uniforms denoting students, workers and officials; Uglies: crazy fashioncostumethingies for pretties, and didn't the uglies have like a uniform or something? Hunger Games: lots of raggy old cloth stuff. They're madpooryo.)
-Government Creepers: like the gestapo. Publicly known; usually feared. (Hunger games: peacekeepers. Matched: Officials. Uglies: wardens. Also Special Circumstances, but less public.)
-Fancy Board Of Government Jerks Who Decide Stuff (Uglies: the Pretty Committee. HG: the Gamemakers. Matched: I think we find out in the next volume xDD )[I just realized that was my first emote all post.]
-I think they're all communists. (actually, that's not a principle. But i think it's true. I might make a post entirely devoted to the fact that I think that Matched, The Hunger Games, and Uglies are all set in communist "futures" and it's all 1984alloveragain.)
Ok, now for my Critiques:
I read all fourhundredsomeodd pages and I still don't feel like I'm BFFs with Cassia, Ky, Em and Xander. They're not the most developed characters, and they're still kind of in that stage of development like the book just started and I don't know them yet. I think the most developed characters were Bram and the granfather, and since Grandpa died in like chapter four, that's saying something.
AND THE LOVE TRIANGLE OMG. It's less creative than Twilight. It pretty much IS twilight. I am going to outline a situation, and you try to think of every YA novel with this basic scenario or one very similar:
Boy1 likes girl. Girl likes boy but doesn't know it yet. Girl meets boy2 and falls in OMGlove! but girl and boy2 can't be together. girl finds out about boy1 but since she can have him he's unappealing even though he's better for her and everyone around her. He's just not as hot. So girl makes out with both of them and eventually either ends up with boy2 or realizes that boy1 was better all along, often following the death or destruction, if not betrayal, of boy2.
How many books did you come up with? Like, every YA novel ever? See? they're all the same. WillsomeonepleasewritemeagooddystopiannovelwithaNEWromanticsituationthankyou?
Ok. That is all.
What would make me really happy right now:
-Suuushiiii
-for someone to write me a novel according to the guidelines above.
-no more tests please school ok?
-more time to read at school
next book: The Woman Who Rides Like A Man
CHALLENGE: outline a romance taking place in a dystopia that is ORIGINAL.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
In the Hand of the Goddess
Dear Alanna,
Awww, I love you. You're so adorable. Except you're old now, which is really annoying. You were so much cuter when you were all awkward and twelve and like OMGEWBOYSARESOGROSS. And I totally love that You have sort of made out with George a little, so I am happy in that respect. However, I am a bit concerned for the future of your character.
First of all, you're all old and such, so you won't be as fun and adorable. That makes me sad. Also, you're with Jon now. The problem with characters actually hooking up is that there's really not a lot you can do with them now. I mean, if they're SUPPOSED to make out, where's the fun in that? So, chances are, they will break up. Which is annoying. (Note the fact that I cannot write romance because my characters are usually broken up within the same chapter they got together in. I mean, teenage relationships only last so long. "They got together... and yeah. They lived happily ever after." I can't get any thrill into a relationship that WORKS, so I naturally have to destroy it.) If you and Jon stay together for the next two books, they will probably bore me to tears. So, I can tell you this now--whether or not you end up with Jon, the two of you are doomed to some sort of breakup. Also, while George is still alive, he will always be "stalking" you, as you so eleagantly put it. So you two are probably going to make out some more. So please, break up with Jon first, because if you make out with George while you're still with Jon, I'm going to have to consider you a slut, and I don't like sluts. They bother me. They also suck to read about because they are almost always selfish and inconsiderate.
One thing you need to remember in the next book is that you are a knight. You might be a girl and the prince's lover, but you have responsibilities. As pretty much every book of this genre in which the couple hooks up before the end, it is very easy to forget the mission at hand and just run off into the sunset, especially since the mission at hand is fulfilling your responsibilities as a knight of Tortall, which poses no immediate foreseeable danger toward you or a loved one, so running off into the sunset almost sounds kind of reasonable. But No! You must not turn into a girl on me! Just because everyone knows you're female now does not mean that you need to act like it. Remember why you got into this! You cannot betray your adorable twelve-year-old self!
Also, the epilogue suggests that you are leaving on your Adventure! without either George or Jon. There are only a few ways this could go romantically:
1. You spend the whole Adventure! missing Jon and being all "omgimissyoucomebacktome" (Conclusion: the book will suck)
2. Jon shows up at some point and joins you. (Conclusion: The book could go either way.)
3. George shows up at some point and joins you. You guys have fabulous Adventures! but you stay true to Jon. (Conclusion: the book will be okay.)
4. George shows up at some point and joins you. You cheat on Jon because George is older, better, cooler, and also immediately avaliable. (Conclusion: you're a slut and the book kind of sucks, except that George is there and he makes me happy so I'll probably enjoy it somewhat anyway.)
5. You meet a new guy and, due to the law of Everyone Likes the Sexy Maingirl Who Doesn't Realize How Sexy She Is, he falls in love with you and you totally betray Jon but that's okay because he's hot and immediately avaliable. (Conclusion: the book sucks and you're a slut.)
6. You end up back at the palace, there are no Adventures!, and you stay with Jon. (Conclusion: Boooo-ring.)
7. You end up back at the palace, there are no Adventures! of the predicted sort, but you dump Jon/he dumps you, and you and George do something awesome. (Conclusion: this might be pretty good...)
8. Jon has to marry politically (or he finds a new slut) and you run off with George/new guy/etc. and have Adventures!
9. You actually make it through the Adventures! without any romantic affiliation, act like Mini Alanna again, and I love you. (Conclusion: Congratulations! You're awesome! But this will never happen!!!)
Choose wisely, my child. Choose wisely.
What would make me really happy right now:
-Book 3
-My copy of book 2 to have the small cover because the ghetto-copies have the adorable Alannas whereas the big ones have Alanna the Slut, who looks like Tinkerbell crossed with a fish with strawberry vomit on her head (wait, that's HAIR???)
-Sushi
-Money
Next Book: Maybe Paper Towns? I mean, I'm almost done with that thing...
Awww, I love you. You're so adorable. Except you're old now, which is really annoying. You were so much cuter when you were all awkward and twelve and like OMGEWBOYSARESOGROSS. And I totally love that You have sort of made out with George a little, so I am happy in that respect. However, I am a bit concerned for the future of your character.
First of all, you're all old and such, so you won't be as fun and adorable. That makes me sad. Also, you're with Jon now. The problem with characters actually hooking up is that there's really not a lot you can do with them now. I mean, if they're SUPPOSED to make out, where's the fun in that? So, chances are, they will break up. Which is annoying. (Note the fact that I cannot write romance because my characters are usually broken up within the same chapter they got together in. I mean, teenage relationships only last so long. "They got together... and yeah. They lived happily ever after." I can't get any thrill into a relationship that WORKS, so I naturally have to destroy it.) If you and Jon stay together for the next two books, they will probably bore me to tears. So, I can tell you this now--whether or not you end up with Jon, the two of you are doomed to some sort of breakup. Also, while George is still alive, he will always be "stalking" you, as you so eleagantly put it. So you two are probably going to make out some more. So please, break up with Jon first, because if you make out with George while you're still with Jon, I'm going to have to consider you a slut, and I don't like sluts. They bother me. They also suck to read about because they are almost always selfish and inconsiderate.
One thing you need to remember in the next book is that you are a knight. You might be a girl and the prince's lover, but you have responsibilities. As pretty much every book of this genre in which the couple hooks up before the end, it is very easy to forget the mission at hand and just run off into the sunset, especially since the mission at hand is fulfilling your responsibilities as a knight of Tortall, which poses no immediate foreseeable danger toward you or a loved one, so running off into the sunset almost sounds kind of reasonable. But No! You must not turn into a girl on me! Just because everyone knows you're female now does not mean that you need to act like it. Remember why you got into this! You cannot betray your adorable twelve-year-old self!
Also, the epilogue suggests that you are leaving on your Adventure! without either George or Jon. There are only a few ways this could go romantically:
1. You spend the whole Adventure! missing Jon and being all "omgimissyoucomebacktome" (Conclusion: the book will suck)
2. Jon shows up at some point and joins you. (Conclusion: The book could go either way.)
3. George shows up at some point and joins you. You guys have fabulous Adventures! but you stay true to Jon. (Conclusion: the book will be okay.)
4. George shows up at some point and joins you. You cheat on Jon because George is older, better, cooler, and also immediately avaliable. (Conclusion: you're a slut and the book kind of sucks, except that George is there and he makes me happy so I'll probably enjoy it somewhat anyway.)
5. You meet a new guy and, due to the law of Everyone Likes the Sexy Maingirl Who Doesn't Realize How Sexy She Is, he falls in love with you and you totally betray Jon but that's okay because he's hot and immediately avaliable. (Conclusion: the book sucks and you're a slut.)
6. You end up back at the palace, there are no Adventures!, and you stay with Jon. (Conclusion: Boooo-ring.)
7. You end up back at the palace, there are no Adventures! of the predicted sort, but you dump Jon/he dumps you, and you and George do something awesome. (Conclusion: this might be pretty good...)
8. Jon has to marry politically (or he finds a new slut) and you run off with George/new guy/etc. and have Adventures!
9. You actually make it through the Adventures! without any romantic affiliation, act like Mini Alanna again, and I love you. (Conclusion: Congratulations! You're awesome! But this will never happen!!!)
Choose wisely, my child. Choose wisely.
What would make me really happy right now:
-Book 3
-My copy of book 2 to have the small cover because the ghetto-copies have the adorable Alannas whereas the big ones have Alanna the Slut, who looks like Tinkerbell crossed with a fish with strawberry vomit on her head (wait, that's HAIR???)
-Sushi
-Money
Next Book: Maybe Paper Towns? I mean, I'm almost done with that thing...
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
CITY OF FALLEN ANGELS
MAJOR SPOILERS, JUST SO YA KNOW.
LIKE, SERIOUSLY.
Okay, this is going to sound weird, but I AM weird and you know that. So I'll confide in the POSSIBLE ZERO READERS OF THIS BLOG that while reading this book I was screaming at the characters, literally speaking out lound telling them what to do.
And not while home alone. I do this with PEOPLE WATCHING.
So I think I'm going to format this post as my instructions to individual characters, plus ratings on how much I liked them. (1-10, ten is the highest <3)
MAIA:
Honestly, you didn't piss me off too much this time. I didn't like you that much before, but you've won my appreciation <3 GOOD DOGGIE GOOD GIRL. YOU DESERVE A BISCUIT.
JORDAN:
Ditto. You actually made me pretty happy a few times. And I got to quote you once or twice on the Wall of Epic located in my library.
ISABELLE:
So, I will always love you, being so amazingly awesome in every way. You pretty much weren't too evil. I give you an 11. (You really got a nine, but I scale two points for you being so fabulous. ALSO OLIVIA IF YOU'RE DUMB ENOUGH TO READ THIS I TOTALLY WON THE SAIA VS SISABELLE DEBATE FTW.)
Also, it's annoying how everyone in fanfiction and art thinks you have blue eyes even though book one clearly states that they are black. It doesn't remond you often though, the way it does Alec's blue ones, but in this book it comes up a lot.
SIMON:
Beginning of the book: *slap* C'mon Si, you know better than two DATE TWO GIRLS AT ONCE WHO BOTH KNOW EACH OTHER AND CAN QUITE EASILY KICK YOUR ASS ALONG WITH THOSE OF ALL OF THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU. ESPECIALLY SINCE ONE HAS CLAWS AND IS A WEREWOLF AND THE OTHER HAS A WHIP AND KNOWS HOW TO USE IT. TO KILL DEMONS. 1. (that point is just for the fact that you're a bass player.)
End of book: YAY MY SIMON IS BACK *hug* 9.
Also, it bothers me how you were like 6'5 in the first book and all insanelytallandstuff and then in the last chapter you were all OMG IM ALL 5'6 AND SHORTER THAN EVERYONE even though you were all TALLER THAN JACE HAHAH MAN PRIDE in book 1. AND IT'S BEEN LIKE TWO MONTHS SINCE THEN SO DO NOT BLAME PUBERTY.
MAUREEN:
I love you. You're just so cute and out of your league and terrifying and I want to see you kick some demon ass and maybe make out with Simon. If Cassie loves me. (She usually loves me, so I have hope.) I was quite determined that you would return as a vampire, so there was no surprise there. We have not seen the last of you, and YOU WILL DO ANNOYING, AWESOME, AND/OR EVIL THINGS FOR ME IN THE FUTURE, NON? 10 for the rainbow armwarmers.
ALEC:
You were being kind of whiny most of the book, but I guess if I had just found out I was the latest in the long line of lovers, I'd be rather miffed. And then when you shoved Clary out of the elevator, I really wanted to hug you. So you get an 8.
CLARY:
Honestly, I really only love you because you make out with Jace. Also, you're short. Short people are awesome. (See, Sammy? I'm only mean to short people 'cuz I'm jealous.) You get a 9 for being all assertive of your femininity and not all OMG JACE WE CANNOT BE TOGETHER *WHINECRYWAILMOAN* and instead all WTF JACE YOU ARE SO OVERDRAMATIC MY FATHER IS DEAD WE ARE NOT SIBLINGS YOU ARE NOT A DEMON SO THERE REALLY IS NO REASON WE CANNOT BE TOGETHER SO SHUT UP AND KISS ME.
MAGNUS:
Oh, Magnus. Why are you such a slut? I guess I can understand TV tropes' "everything that moves" comment when you mentioned the djinn. And the genie. And the other stuff. But I still love you. Just don't break Alec's heart or I BREAK YOUR FACE. 8.
CAMILLE:
I don't like you. you get a 2 for being French.
JONATHAN CHRISTOPHER MORGENSTERN AKA SEBASTION:
-123456789087654321345678976543245678987654 for obvious reasons.
LILITH:
That to the power of googleplex. Plex. Plex. Plex. Plex.
JACE:
Saving you for last. The mainchick's boyfriend always needs the most lecturing.
So, here goes.
1. YOU AND CLARY ARE NOT SIBLINGS. YOU ARE NOT A DEMON. YOU ARE NOT VALENTINE NOR ARE YOU HIS SON. SO FIND A WAY TO KILL SEBASTION/JCM AND GO BE CLARY'S BOYFRIEND SOMEWHERE LIKE A GOOD LITTLE SHADOWHUNTER.
2. I'M REALLY MAD AT YOU BUT I CAN'T COME UP WITH A GOOD REASON SO DEAL WITH YOUR PROBLEMS AND THEN STOP WHINING.
3. I'M NOT EVEN USING CAPS LOCK. HOLDING DOWN THE SHIFT KEY MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I'M VENTING MY ANGER.
WHAT WOULD MAKE ME REALLY HAPPY RIGHT NOW:
-SUSHI
-Jace to be a good little shadowhunter and get rid of his girlfriend's brother and OH MY GOD STOP WHINING
-BOOK 5. NOW.
-More books
-My books to alphabetize and shelf themselves. I'm catalogueing by author's last name for the first time and like, I have 48 books under the letter B alone. And that's less than S, C and W.
Next book: Revolution? Idk.
LIKE, SERIOUSLY.
Okay, this is going to sound weird, but I AM weird and you know that. So I'll confide in the POSSIBLE ZERO READERS OF THIS BLOG that while reading this book I was screaming at the characters, literally speaking out lound telling them what to do.
And not while home alone. I do this with PEOPLE WATCHING.
So I think I'm going to format this post as my instructions to individual characters, plus ratings on how much I liked them. (1-10, ten is the highest <3)
MAIA:
Honestly, you didn't piss me off too much this time. I didn't like you that much before, but you've won my appreciation <3 GOOD DOGGIE GOOD GIRL. YOU DESERVE A BISCUIT.
JORDAN:
Ditto. You actually made me pretty happy a few times. And I got to quote you once or twice on the Wall of Epic located in my library.
ISABELLE:
So, I will always love you, being so amazingly awesome in every way. You pretty much weren't too evil. I give you an 11. (You really got a nine, but I scale two points for you being so fabulous. ALSO OLIVIA IF YOU'RE DUMB ENOUGH TO READ THIS I TOTALLY WON THE SAIA VS SISABELLE DEBATE FTW.)
Also, it's annoying how everyone in fanfiction and art thinks you have blue eyes even though book one clearly states that they are black. It doesn't remond you often though, the way it does Alec's blue ones, but in this book it comes up a lot.
SIMON:
Beginning of the book: *slap* C'mon Si, you know better than two DATE TWO GIRLS AT ONCE WHO BOTH KNOW EACH OTHER AND CAN QUITE EASILY KICK YOUR ASS ALONG WITH THOSE OF ALL OF THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU. ESPECIALLY SINCE ONE HAS CLAWS AND IS A WEREWOLF AND THE OTHER HAS A WHIP AND KNOWS HOW TO USE IT. TO KILL DEMONS. 1. (that point is just for the fact that you're a bass player.)
End of book: YAY MY SIMON IS BACK *hug* 9.
Also, it bothers me how you were like 6'5 in the first book and all insanelytallandstuff and then in the last chapter you were all OMG IM ALL 5'6 AND SHORTER THAN EVERYONE even though you were all TALLER THAN JACE HAHAH MAN PRIDE in book 1. AND IT'S BEEN LIKE TWO MONTHS SINCE THEN SO DO NOT BLAME PUBERTY.
MAUREEN:
I love you. You're just so cute and out of your league and terrifying and I want to see you kick some demon ass and maybe make out with Simon. If Cassie loves me. (She usually loves me, so I have hope.) I was quite determined that you would return as a vampire, so there was no surprise there. We have not seen the last of you, and YOU WILL DO ANNOYING, AWESOME, AND/OR EVIL THINGS FOR ME IN THE FUTURE, NON? 10 for the rainbow armwarmers.
ALEC:
You were being kind of whiny most of the book, but I guess if I had just found out I was the latest in the long line of lovers, I'd be rather miffed. And then when you shoved Clary out of the elevator, I really wanted to hug you. So you get an 8.
CLARY:
Honestly, I really only love you because you make out with Jace. Also, you're short. Short people are awesome. (See, Sammy? I'm only mean to short people 'cuz I'm jealous.) You get a 9 for being all assertive of your femininity and not all OMG JACE WE CANNOT BE TOGETHER *WHINECRYWAILMOAN* and instead all WTF JACE YOU ARE SO OVERDRAMATIC MY FATHER IS DEAD WE ARE NOT SIBLINGS YOU ARE NOT A DEMON SO THERE REALLY IS NO REASON WE CANNOT BE TOGETHER SO SHUT UP AND KISS ME.
MAGNUS:
Oh, Magnus. Why are you such a slut? I guess I can understand TV tropes' "everything that moves" comment when you mentioned the djinn. And the genie. And the other stuff. But I still love you. Just don't break Alec's heart or I BREAK YOUR FACE. 8.
CAMILLE:
I don't like you. you get a 2 for being French.
JONATHAN CHRISTOPHER MORGENSTERN AKA SEBASTION:
-123456789087654321345678976543245678987654 for obvious reasons.
LILITH:
That to the power of googleplex. Plex. Plex. Plex. Plex.
JACE:
Saving you for last. The mainchick's boyfriend always needs the most lecturing.
So, here goes.
1. YOU AND CLARY ARE NOT SIBLINGS. YOU ARE NOT A DEMON. YOU ARE NOT VALENTINE NOR ARE YOU HIS SON. SO FIND A WAY TO KILL SEBASTION/JCM AND GO BE CLARY'S BOYFRIEND SOMEWHERE LIKE A GOOD LITTLE SHADOWHUNTER.
2. I'M REALLY MAD AT YOU BUT I CAN'T COME UP WITH A GOOD REASON SO DEAL WITH YOUR PROBLEMS AND THEN STOP WHINING.
3. I'M NOT EVEN USING CAPS LOCK. HOLDING DOWN THE SHIFT KEY MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I'M VENTING MY ANGER.
WHAT WOULD MAKE ME REALLY HAPPY RIGHT NOW:
-SUSHI
-Jace to be a good little shadowhunter and get rid of his girlfriend's brother and OH MY GOD STOP WHINING
-BOOK 5. NOW.
-More books
-My books to alphabetize and shelf themselves. I'm catalogueing by author's last name for the first time and like, I have 48 books under the letter B alone. And that's less than S, C and W.
Next book: Revolution? Idk.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Rebel Angels
I am back!
So, lately I haven't been able to get into a book at all, but today all I wanted to do was read. YES!!! It is not the apocalypse YET! (I'm still prepared for that, though.)
I read the prequel to this, A Great and Terrible Beauty, for summer reading last year. I bought the sequel but let my friend Emily borrow it since I wasn't done with the first one yet.
It took her six months to read it.
But I'm done now, and I really enjoyed it. Except the part where Kartik wasn't there. I love Kartik, or maybe I just love the added sense of holywhat'sgoingon he adds. I still don't know how to pronounce his name.
When I saw the Asa in the letter from Miss Moore, I immediately wrote her name on a post-it and cut it up so that I could mess with the letter. Witht he name Hester Asa Moore, you can make the names of several ancient gods: Ares, Hermes, Hera, and Mars. You can also make Mother, which seemed like a lead, Rooster, Rose and Sea. Then I was messing around and had Sara, then I added the H... and then it all came together. Sarah Rees-Toome! I always thought the last name was funny, she must have invented the name for the anagram rather than the other way around.
I want to read the sequel :D I need money and a trip to the bookstore.
What would make me really happy right now:
-Sushi
-Money
-A trip to the bookstore
Next book: aye dee kay.
So, lately I haven't been able to get into a book at all, but today all I wanted to do was read. YES!!! It is not the apocalypse YET! (I'm still prepared for that, though.)
I read the prequel to this, A Great and Terrible Beauty, for summer reading last year. I bought the sequel but let my friend Emily borrow it since I wasn't done with the first one yet.
It took her six months to read it.
But I'm done now, and I really enjoyed it. Except the part where Kartik wasn't there. I love Kartik, or maybe I just love the added sense of holywhat'sgoingon he adds. I still don't know how to pronounce his name.
When I saw the Asa in the letter from Miss Moore, I immediately wrote her name on a post-it and cut it up so that I could mess with the letter. Witht he name Hester Asa Moore, you can make the names of several ancient gods: Ares, Hermes, Hera, and Mars. You can also make Mother, which seemed like a lead, Rooster, Rose and Sea. Then I was messing around and had Sara, then I added the H... and then it all came together. Sarah Rees-Toome! I always thought the last name was funny, she must have invented the name for the anagram rather than the other way around.
I want to read the sequel :D I need money and a trip to the bookstore.
What would make me really happy right now:
-Sushi
-Money
-A trip to the bookstore
Next book: aye dee kay.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Alanna
I really like this story for a variety of reasons. It takes place in the middle ages, for one. It involves magic but odes not entirely center around magic. Alanna herself is interesting and charismatic--I really like her. George is like, my man. And I'm always pretty intrigued by novels centering around a girl in disguise as a guy. I don't quite know why. It's intriguing to me, and the type of thing that doesn't involve anything paranormal but could never be a position I would be put in, both because it's not necessary in this society and because, well, I don't think I would pull it off very well. Despite being called a "guy" or having jokes made about me wherein I am a guy, I think it would be pretty obvious going by body shape alone.
I really want to read the sequel. Unfortunately, when I checked out our local selling-out borders, they had books 1, 3, and 4. Seriously?
But, like I said, I reallyreallyreally like this book, and you can tell because of the shortness of this post. Not one angry rant. Not one! Except I think she could have thrown in a scene where Alanna makes out with George, just for my amusement. Authors should really confer with me before finalizing their novels.
Pierce: So, Mannin, what did you think?
Manon: It's Manon. Muh-non. Ma-nawn. Mispronounce it one more time and you'll be Tamborine Purse for the rest of your life. I can make that happen.
Pierce: ...
Manon: Anyway, I think it was great, except you left out that part where George makes out with Alanna.
Pierce: What part...?
Manon: Exactly. Now, get typing!
Pierce: But, why? That wouldn't bring anything to the story, except make George and Alanna's relationship really awkward. He's several years older than her, and it's been established that Alanna thinks he's lying and is actually older.
Manon: It's the middle ages! People can do stuff like that then! That's why we write in that time period, isn't it?
Pierce: I was more interested in the swordplay, feudal system, roles of men and women, and association with magic...
Manon: Personally, I think the scene would win you fans.
Pierce: Why?!?!?!
Manon: It would appeal to a broader audience. And it would be funny. And more people would talk about it, making more new readers.
Pierce: Somehow that just doesn't seem likely...
Manon: Of course it's likely! If Suzanne Collins had made Katniss make out with Finnick like I said she should, Hunger Games would be Harry Potter but bigger!
Pierce: I just don't understand your logic...
Manon: My logic is the most logical think about me! It worked for Rowling!
Pierce:...?
Manon: RonxHermione, HarryxGinny, HarryxCho, that other dude and that other chick...
Pierce: I think Rowling's success can be more accurately linked to her amazing development of a supernatural world existing alongside our own, her creative magic, her enticing plots, her engaging action, her charismatic characters...
Manon: And her pairings! Don't tell me you don't think HarryxGinny won her some fans.
Pierce: I honestly doubt it.
Manon: That would be me.
Pierce:... oh.
Manon: See? Now, run along and write me that scene, and then I shall approve of your novel.
Pierce:... [mutters] there's something wrong with that girl...
What would make me really happy right now:
-Considering I just wrote that last post on Mockingjay five minutes ago, you can kind of just take a look at that...
Next book: Perks? Who knows?
I really want to read the sequel. Unfortunately, when I checked out our local selling-out borders, they had books 1, 3, and 4. Seriously?
But, like I said, I reallyreallyreally like this book, and you can tell because of the shortness of this post. Not one angry rant. Not one! Except I think she could have thrown in a scene where Alanna makes out with George, just for my amusement. Authors should really confer with me before finalizing their novels.
Pierce: So, Mannin, what did you think?
Manon: It's Manon. Muh-non. Ma-nawn. Mispronounce it one more time and you'll be Tamborine Purse for the rest of your life. I can make that happen.
Pierce: ...
Manon: Anyway, I think it was great, except you left out that part where George makes out with Alanna.
Pierce: What part...?
Manon: Exactly. Now, get typing!
Pierce: But, why? That wouldn't bring anything to the story, except make George and Alanna's relationship really awkward. He's several years older than her, and it's been established that Alanna thinks he's lying and is actually older.
Manon: It's the middle ages! People can do stuff like that then! That's why we write in that time period, isn't it?
Pierce: I was more interested in the swordplay, feudal system, roles of men and women, and association with magic...
Manon: Personally, I think the scene would win you fans.
Pierce: Why?!?!?!
Manon: It would appeal to a broader audience. And it would be funny. And more people would talk about it, making more new readers.
Pierce: Somehow that just doesn't seem likely...
Manon: Of course it's likely! If Suzanne Collins had made Katniss make out with Finnick like I said she should, Hunger Games would be Harry Potter but bigger!
Pierce: I just don't understand your logic...
Manon: My logic is the most logical think about me! It worked for Rowling!
Pierce:...?
Manon: RonxHermione, HarryxGinny, HarryxCho, that other dude and that other chick...
Pierce: I think Rowling's success can be more accurately linked to her amazing development of a supernatural world existing alongside our own, her creative magic, her enticing plots, her engaging action, her charismatic characters...
Manon: And her pairings! Don't tell me you don't think HarryxGinny won her some fans.
Pierce: I honestly doubt it.
Manon: That would be me.
Pierce:... oh.
Manon: See? Now, run along and write me that scene, and then I shall approve of your novel.
Pierce:... [mutters] there's something wrong with that girl...
What would make me really happy right now:
-Considering I just wrote that last post on Mockingjay five minutes ago, you can kind of just take a look at that...
Next book: Perks? Who knows?
Mockingjay
I literally just finished this minutes ago. I'm still kind of numb from the ending, but I liked the way it ended--with Peeta. Someday kids will be reading this instead of To Kill A Mockingbird, and I like that, but it also scares me. Katniss, Gale, and Peeta didn't seem quite real to me. But the society--that was reality. It was life. It was humanity. And I don't want it to be real.
I have two very big fears. One is death. I don't want to die. I cannot imagine not existing in this world anymore. Also, I want to leave an impact. I cannot go forgotten--I can't! I need to be smarter than Napoleon, more powerful than the medieval Catholic Church, more inspiring than Gandhi, more interesting than any Hapsburg and even more immortal than any artist or writer or philosopher. Maybe these things are far outside of my grasp, but I have to try! Doesn't everyone want to try? Your life is precious. For God's sake, do something with it! The concept of dying forgotten is terrifying in a new kind of way.
I am also afraid of endings. The last time I enter a room; the last time I see a person; the last chance to take part in something. I am afraid of regret.
I am also afraid of things that are already dead. Bodies of people, creatures, anything. I cannot stand their presence. Will they return, soulless, vengeful, come to take me with them to their realm of hatred and sorrow? I do not like death.
This book unsettles me. It is about death, and it ends. Death makes me feel very alone in the world. Right now, I feel very alone. Please, come, I need your company. Please don't die. Please don't kill me.
Let's live forever, and may our book never end.
I think that's how my mind works.
What would make me really happy right now:
-For someone to buy me the second book in Tamora Pierce's series Song of the Lioness, the individual installment entitled In the Hands of the Goddess.
-Sushi and magic sushi powers, see my last post.
-More books
-A green beret.
Next book: Perks or Alanna.
I have two very big fears. One is death. I don't want to die. I cannot imagine not existing in this world anymore. Also, I want to leave an impact. I cannot go forgotten--I can't! I need to be smarter than Napoleon, more powerful than the medieval Catholic Church, more inspiring than Gandhi, more interesting than any Hapsburg and even more immortal than any artist or writer or philosopher. Maybe these things are far outside of my grasp, but I have to try! Doesn't everyone want to try? Your life is precious. For God's sake, do something with it! The concept of dying forgotten is terrifying in a new kind of way.
I am also afraid of endings. The last time I enter a room; the last time I see a person; the last chance to take part in something. I am afraid of regret.
I am also afraid of things that are already dead. Bodies of people, creatures, anything. I cannot stand their presence. Will they return, soulless, vengeful, come to take me with them to their realm of hatred and sorrow? I do not like death.
This book unsettles me. It is about death, and it ends. Death makes me feel very alone in the world. Right now, I feel very alone. Please, come, I need your company. Please don't die. Please don't kill me.
Let's live forever, and may our book never end.
I think that's how my mind works.
What would make me really happy right now:
-For someone to buy me the second book in Tamora Pierce's series Song of the Lioness, the individual installment entitled In the Hands of the Goddess.
-Sushi and magic sushi powers, see my last post.
-More books
-A green beret.
Next book: Perks or Alanna.
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