Tuesday, November 29, 2011

B****marked I MEAN Birthmarked

First of all, look at this title.

Image stolen from Amazon. Obviously. From whom you should order this book right now at this location
Just look at that title. Does that NOT look like "Bitchmarked" to you? I mean really. I don't even call it Birthmarked anymore. It is so obviously Bitchmarked.
Anyway, this book was awesome.
Why was it awesome?
I didn't hate the main character. This is good. She had a sort of Not Too Much Of A Martyr-ness to her that didn't piss me off too much.
The romance? The romance! It was perfect! It was the total, like, "I hate you. But hey, maybe I'll be a human being for a couple minutes. Oh, whoa, you're hot when you're not bitching at me. Okay, I'll help you for like five minutes, but I won't enjoy it. Okay, maybe I might. A little bit... OMGILOVEYOU. OH S*** THERE ARE DUDES WITH GUNS CHASING US. BACK TO REALITY.
I really liked the setting. It takes place in the area that once was the Great Lakes region, but after a fuel-related apocalypse combined with climate change, all the water dried up. The culture is kind of old-west-y, which is cool. Also, they wear cloaks. Cloaks are one of those things that nobody actually wears, but they must be present for a book to be cool. Or something.
In case you're really confused, Bitchmarked is about a girl named Gaia who lives not in but outside a Really Cool Post-apocalyptic Enclave (Once again, you're not cool unless you have either a clave or an enclave. What's the difference, by the way?). She's not quite cool enough to live IN the enclave, of course, she's too badass. The way it works is that you either live in it our outside of it. Instead of hospitals they have midwives, so every birth is assisted by one or two women, usually particular to the area. The midwives have an obligation to "advance" a certain number of babies every month to be adopted into the Enclave, who have a little problem with inbreeding, due to the fact that they live inside a wall.
Note to future post-apocalyptic societies: avoid living inside a wall as long as it is possible to live outside a wall. I mean, REALLY.
Anyway, Gaia's mom is the midwife, and Gaia kind of has this little "apprentice" thing going on. Gaia has a scar on her face, by the way, which makes people think she's a freak. Anyway, her parents get arrested, and she has to take over as midwife, taking people's children and advancing them and all that stuff. And then stuff happens and it gets really awesome. I'm going to try and avoid spoilers on this one, especially since it's better if you don't know them. Even the romance isn't totally obvious from the beginning, unless of course you're me and you know how it's going to end from the first page. I read too much. I haven't been surprised by a book in years.
Except maybe Goliath, but kind of not even.
So, as for the plot: awesome. I've been wanting something with that sort of Awesometype (New word. This is the kind of "vibe" the book sends, the energy of it. I'm cool, right?) for a while now. I'm making Mrs. McCauley read it, so we can discuss it on our Book Show Thing.

AND THERE'S A SEQUEL. I'm getting a Kindle Fire soon, so I can be even more of a book nerd, so that might be my first ebook.

-no homework, pleaseee

Next Book: WGWG? This Dark Endeavor? The Last Hero? The world may never know.

Monday, November 28, 2011


So, people say this book is boring.
It's not.
It's basically the original dystopia. Technically, it is the original dystopia. Therefore, it's awesome.
Also, it's just so...
I don't even know.
Maybe I'm a nerd.
Maybe I'm crazy.
But this was a really good book.
Except the end.
That sucked.
But that was the way it had to end.
And I respect that.

-5 more hours in the day?

Next Book: something?

Sunday, November 27, 2011


So you know how most popular young adult novels are written in the point of view of a girl or with the main character being a girl? That's kind of interesting, considering especially how a lot of these books are actiony warry whatevery stuff, and therefore you'd think it would be the guys that were into it (stereotypes, stereotypes...). An idea just popped into my head likefivesecondsago. It's not because most popular YA authors are girls (although this is true) especially because most of the guys who write for the genre (Eg. Scott Westerfeld, who, out of his three young adult trilogies and four standalones, has written a total of two standalones in the point of view of a boy and one partially in the point of view of two different boys (along with some girls) and those happen to be his least popular books for young adults) still write in the point of view of a female character most of the time. The reason, according to the Manon Institute of Jumping To Conclusions and Defending Them Obsessively located in The Basement, USA, is that most girls have about fifty million strange and unknown hormones running through their brains at all time. Boys have about four. Therefore, girls are about 12.5 million times more likely to make strange and irrational decisions and go on random bitchfits whenever the author deems necessary, and for a decent plot with a badass main character, you kind of need both. For some strange reason, literature seems to think that if a girl makes crazy and irrational decisions all the time, she's "spunky," and if she goes on random bitchfits, she's "strong." Apparently, "spunky" and "strong" characters are in demand right now, because all the main female characters seem to do is make crazy decisions and go on bitchfits about how their crazy irrational decisions have screwed up their lives. If book characters didn't make irrational decisions and go on bitchfits about them, then they could usually solve their problems relatively easily, therefore there would be no story.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011


Now that I've gotten that out of the way, I need to warn you:
Moving on.
This book was amazing. Seriously. I loved it so much that I am going to start with the three things I hated about it and then move on to the fangirling. That way, I can get it off my chest.
1. Anastasia never showed up. I mean, durr, I knew she wasn't going to, but seriously! At the time, she'd have been fourteen, just old enough to fit into Alek and Deryn and Lilit and Newkirk's little gang. She's awesome. She was also a bit of a prankster, which would have been hilarious aboard the Leviathan. Moving on.
2. Remember the April Fool's Day art reveal? The one that made like fifty of us practically pee ourselves? This one? I really wanted it to be real. Really, really wanted it. I was also hoping that maybe it was two separate images stuck together, because I don't care about Alek destroying the chapel in his pirate walker as long as Deryn and Lilit are in some terribly awkward situation involving Lilit in a wedding dress. I like awkwardness, don't I?
Completely off topic, did you know that Scott's blog is the fourth most visited site on my browser? Because I'm totally not a stalker.
3. Alek never really got jealous of Deryn, which my buddy this girl recently pointed out to me, which sucks for Deryn because it's, like, not fair. Or something.
I don't know, all right?

Now, on to the important stuff.

I'm glad Alek got to figure it out on his own. I mean, we're so mean to him anyway. He's a dummkopf in every fanfiction (especially mine... gah) and we sort of rag on him all the time, so he deserves something. Although it could have been more, you know, fun. Dramatic.

Did not happen >:( C'mon, Scott, that would have taken like no effort to just stick her in a kimono for like five seconds. As long as there's an illustration we really don't care.

Okay, fine. I have my limits.

Anyway, I finished this book about a day after I got it, and got it about five days after it came out, and then started this post about five minutes thereafter, but I kind of saved it as a draft, left off halfway through a sentence, and forgot to finish it. Oh well.

What Would Make Me Really Happy Right Now:
-Some of that soup that I can smell cooking but isn't done yet
-More books. Need more books

Next Books:
Birthmarked, WGWG (still...) 1984, some other stuff

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

This Is Not A Book

Okay, so I totally haven't posted almost all summer because I've hardly been reading. I know, you're disappointed in me. But once I finish these stupid honors assignments and post a few really long rants about them, I'll be back on track. I promise.

Saturday, June 18, 2011


This may be my first intelligent post in a very long time.
Omiholywhatthegosh that was an epicgoodscarygoreycrazyomygod book.
This might be my favorite futuristic dystopia to date. What stands out about this one is that it feels so real. Possible. Like this could actually happen. That's why it's so hard-hitting. This was one of those books where the characters were on one side displaying that sense of detatchment that I hate, where they're not really characters but empty stereotypes to make the story move. These characters can be compared to those of Scott Westerfeld's Uglies because although there are some aspects of them that are completely vague, the emotions and connections between the characters go so far beyond the plot that I do feel like they are real people. I'm looking forward to Ann Aguirre's next book, Outpost, which is apparently going to come out fall 2012 and will be the sequel to Enclave. Yes! Except I'll have to wait more than a year. Darn it.
I've decided that this isn't like the Mortal Instruments Series (Cassandra Clare) which I literally would (and do) recommend to anyone over the age of twelve and under the age of thirty with no strict values or religious views that suggests that a gay romance would offend them. See, in MI, there is something for everyone--romance, action, fantasy, badassery--the list goes on. Enclave takes a certain kind of person to enjoy: someone who can read about the blood and the pain and the gore and take it, that knows that we need these warnings and wants to see them, to imagine the worst and work toward the best. The people that see history as a warning, whether it be the real Holocaust of WWII or fictional events such as the "second" one mentioned on the first page of Enclave. Some people want to know what's next. Some people want to influence it.
This is going to go a bit off topic, but I see it fitting considering that this is what this story makes me think about and I think it also relates to what Aguirre wanted to say when she wrote the book. I cannot stand it when people tell me they hate history, that they do not see the point in learning about people and governments and wars that existed a long time ago when they could just "learn about now" or "learn about the future" or some other dumb excuse for laziness and ignorance. Sure, history class can be boring and it's true that we don;t necessarily have to know the exact ways that every single republic liberated itself from the Soviet Union. But we do need to know that the Soviet Union existed, and that it failed, and why it failed, because it was a bad time and we need to make sure it does not happen again. You want to leave history to the nerds and the historians? All right. You go play Angry Birds on your iPhone and I'll go decide how the world will be run, and then you can let me dictate your life and indoctrinate your children and strip you of your rights. Without the education to know why this is bad or what could come of it, you are a helpless victim of my power. We cannot predict the future, so only knowledge of the past can help us ensure that it will be bright. We're lucky that we live in a time and place of relative peace and prosperity. If we don't think about our future, it might not be so bright, and your descendants will have no one but you to blame for it. If you think that all that matters is now, and because you are lucky enough to be a human in America in the twenty-first century, you're selfish. Your ancestors and your descendants are slapping you right now.
I may sound like a hypocrite--yes, I love history, but what am I doing to help the future other than talk? I'm speaking to myself as well when I write this.

What would make me really happy right now:
-An alternative universe generator
-More books

Next book: I'm going to take a look around my library for that now, actually.

BTW: I almost tagged this Love Triangle of Doom because there are two guys and both kiss the heroine, but really, it doesn't apply. The romance in this book was beautifully subtle and did not ever get in the way of the plot; in fact, it worked really well to strengthen the bonds between the characters and make slow action parts more interesting. Not that there are a lot of slow parts. I can honestly say that the romantic situation is actually fairly original, maybe due to its low profile, but it is well written and is probably the first good aberration from the Love Triangle of Doom that I have ever seen in a fantasy, sci-fi or dystopian novel. Congratulations, Ann Aguirre, you have somehow managed not to disappoint the Manon.

Friday, June 17, 2011

The Woman Who Rides Like A Man

Dang that title is an innuendo.
I think I need to do another letter to the character. She didn't answer my last one, and as I am on Facebook, I believe the correct way to deal with this situation is to KEEP BUGGING HER TILL SHE DOES. (for the record, that is a joke, because I know if anyone reads that they'll ask.)
Not like anyone reads this anyway.

Dear Alanna,
You did not completely disappoint me this time around. Only somewhat. See, what I love about you is that even though you get sluttier and less adorable (did you know google chrome recognizes "sluttier" as a word? Wait, you don't know what that is. You're from the middle ages. Also, you're NOT REAL.) by the minute, you also got more badass. You don't go all OMG I LOVE YOU SO IM GONNA JUST BETRAY LITTLE ADORABLE PAGE ALANNA AND EVERYTHING SHE WORKED FOR FOR LIKE FIVE YEARS AND JUST SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE BEING ALL ILOVEYOU! WITH JON. Instead, well, you've asserted yourself as a total BA to that jerk prince of yours, who is now flirting with some DUMB BLONDE CHICK WHO'S HOTTER THAN YOU AND SLUTTIER BUT HEY YOU'RE BETTER THAN THEM SO WHO EVEN CARES because you have George who is way better anyway. I always preferred him.
I like your performance regarding the little shaman girls. And Ishak deserved to die. Do not cross a girl who rides horses, does magic, wields epic swords of awesome, and has a pet cat that may in fact be a god. Basically, is someone that cool tells you not to do something, for god's sake don't do it.
That is all.
-your least-favorite person in the world besides Duke Roger,

What would make me really happy right now:
-more books
-more reading time
-to not be so tired

Next book: either Lioness Rampant or Enclave

PS this book is one of the few examples of the love triangle of doom (see Matched for an explanation of this, I might even start making posts on this sort of thing) that I actually like. I'm making a new tag: Love Triangle Of Doom.

Thursday, June 16, 2011


Matched is the first book I've encountered by Ally Condie. (Wanna get the author's name in there early cuz I've heard this isn't the only "Matched" in popular YA literature.)
Okay, so I found this book on Amazon while hunting for more good YA dystopians (Yay futuristic hell holes!) and I read this first chapter anditwasgood. So I bought it.
I actually enjoyed it quite a bit, but I'm still going to be Critical in this one.
THIS IS WHAT WAS GOOD ABOUT THIS BOOK. (I had English finals today so I'm not even gonna try to be smart. Be prepared for poor grammar and random capitalization.) I like the writing style. It's not like the Goddess Of Writing Jodi Piccoult, but it's pretty. Most dystopians, like say, the Hunger Games, begin with a main character that already knows that the government is evil and Man This Place Sucks and all that because they're already a victim and have been their whole lives. However, this is the first one I've read so far where the character actually believed due to her lifetime of indoctrination that the Futuristic Conspiracy To Control Our Minds! was actually the way to go. Gradually she's been submerged into the idea of These Dudes Are Whacked and People Are Dying Man, mostly through Ky, who is in fact the character who knows how Man This Place Sucks. The dystopia itself was also well-developed. I think I'm going to come up with a set of guidelines for well-developed alternative universes/dystopias:
Each one needs to establish:
-the standard mode of transportation (for instance, we have cars and sometimes planes. The Hunger Games has trains. Uglies has hoverboards and hovercars. Matched has a hovertrain or airtrain or something.)
-the way they get their food (we buy it at a store and cook it ourselves, or go to a restaurant. We generally dispense it through a refrigerator. Uglies get fed through a hole in the wall where Magical Objects of Awesome! come out. Hunger Games people hunt (but only if they're badass) or buy it from the black market (if they're semi-badass) or get it from the government if they're chicken.
-propaganda--what makes them obey (uglies: YOU MUST BE PRETTY OMG. Hunger Games: well, the hunger games themselves. Matched: everything is better here because we use probability and our people livelongerandarehappierandcrap.)
-main source of entertainment--what the people do for fun. (Hunger games: watch the hunger games on TV [we're talking capitol idiots here] uglies: go to parties and get creepy surgeries. Matched: game center, music hall, movie showings, leisure activities)
-Clothing: there must be a fashion scheme. (matched: uniforms denoting students, workers and officials; Uglies: crazy fashioncostumethingies for pretties, and didn't the uglies have like a uniform or something? Hunger Games: lots of raggy old cloth stuff. They're madpooryo.)
-Government Creepers: like the gestapo. Publicly known; usually feared. (Hunger games: peacekeepers. Matched: Officials. Uglies: wardens. Also Special Circumstances, but less public.)
-Fancy Board Of Government Jerks Who Decide Stuff (Uglies: the Pretty Committee. HG: the Gamemakers. Matched: I think we find out in the next volume xDD )[I just realized that was my first emote all post.]
-I think they're all communists. (actually, that's not a principle. But i think it's true. I might make a post entirely devoted to the fact that I think that Matched, The Hunger Games, and Uglies are all set in communist "futures" and it's all 1984alloveragain.)

Ok, now for my Critiques:
I read all fourhundredsomeodd pages and I still don't feel like I'm BFFs with Cassia, Ky, Em and Xander. They're not the most developed characters, and they're still kind of in that stage of development like the book just started and I don't know them yet. I think the most developed characters were Bram and the granfather, and since Grandpa died in like chapter four, that's saying something.
AND THE LOVE TRIANGLE OMG. It's less creative than Twilight. It pretty much IS twilight. I am going to outline a situation, and you try to think of every YA novel with this basic scenario or one very similar:
Boy1 likes girl. Girl likes boy but doesn't know it yet. Girl meets boy2 and falls in OMGlove! but girl and boy2 can't be together. girl finds out about boy1 but since she can have him he's unappealing even though he's better for her and everyone around her. He's just not as hot. So girl makes out with both of them and eventually either ends up with boy2 or realizes that boy1 was better all along, often following the death or destruction, if not betrayal, of boy2.
How many books did you come up with? Like, every YA novel ever? See? they're all the same. WillsomeonepleasewritemeagooddystopiannovelwithaNEWromanticsituationthankyou?
Ok. That is all.

What would make me really happy right now:
-for someone to write me a novel according to the guidelines above.
-no more tests please school ok?
-more time to read at school

next book: The Woman Who Rides Like A Man

CHALLENGE: outline a romance taking place in a dystopia that is ORIGINAL.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

In the Hand of the Goddess

Dear Alanna,
Awww, I love you. You're so adorable. Except you're old now, which is really annoying. You were so much cuter when you were all awkward and twelve and like OMGEWBOYSARESOGROSS. And I totally love that You have sort of made out with George a little, so I am happy in that respect. However, I am a bit concerned for the future of your character.
First of all, you're all old and such, so you won't be as fun and adorable. That makes me sad. Also, you're with Jon now. The problem with characters actually hooking up is that there's really not a lot you can do with them now. I mean, if they're SUPPOSED to make out, where's the fun in that? So, chances are, they will break up. Which is annoying. (Note the fact that I cannot write romance because my characters are usually broken up within the same chapter they got together in. I mean, teenage relationships only last so long. "They got together... and yeah. They lived happily ever after." I can't get any thrill into a relationship that WORKS, so I naturally have to destroy it.) If you and Jon stay together for the next two books, they will probably bore me to tears. So, I can tell you this now--whether or not you end up with Jon, the two of you are doomed to some sort of breakup. Also, while George is still alive, he will always be "stalking" you, as you so eleagantly put it. So you two are probably going to make out some more. So please, break up with Jon first, because if you make out with George while you're still with Jon, I'm going to have to consider you a slut, and I don't like sluts. They bother me. They also suck to read about because they are almost always selfish and inconsiderate.
One thing you need to remember in the next book is that you are a knight. You might be a girl and the prince's lover, but you have responsibilities. As pretty much every book of this genre in which the couple hooks up before the end, it is very easy to forget the mission at hand and just run off into the sunset, especially since the mission at hand is fulfilling your responsibilities as a knight of Tortall, which poses no immediate foreseeable danger toward you or a loved one, so running off into the sunset almost sounds kind of reasonable. But No! You must not turn into a girl on me! Just because everyone knows you're female now does not mean that you need to act like it. Remember why you got into this! You cannot betray your adorable twelve-year-old self!
Also, the epilogue suggests that you are leaving on your Adventure! without either George or Jon. There are only a few ways this could go romantically:
1. You spend the whole Adventure! missing Jon and being all "omgimissyoucomebacktome" (Conclusion: the book will suck)
2. Jon shows up at some point and joins you. (Conclusion: The book could go either way.)
3. George shows up at some point and joins you. You guys have fabulous Adventures! but you stay true to Jon. (Conclusion: the book will be okay.)
4. George shows up at some point and joins you. You cheat on Jon because George is older, better, cooler, and also immediately avaliable. (Conclusion: you're a slut and the book kind of sucks, except that George is there and he makes me happy so I'll probably enjoy it somewhat anyway.)
5. You meet a new guy and, due to the law of Everyone Likes the Sexy Maingirl Who Doesn't Realize How Sexy She Is, he falls in love with you and you totally betray Jon but that's okay because he's hot and immediately avaliable. (Conclusion: the book sucks and you're a slut.)
6. You end up back at the palace, there are no Adventures!, and you stay with Jon. (Conclusion: Boooo-ring.)
7. You end up back at the palace, there are no Adventures! of the predicted sort, but you dump Jon/he dumps you, and you and George do something awesome. (Conclusion: this might be pretty good...)
8. Jon has to marry politically (or he finds a new slut) and you run off with George/new guy/etc. and have Adventures!
9. You actually make it through the Adventures! without any romantic affiliation, act like Mini Alanna again, and I love you. (Conclusion: Congratulations! You're awesome! But this will never happen!!!)

Choose wisely, my child. Choose wisely.

What would make me really happy right now:
-Book 3
-My copy of book 2 to have the small cover because the ghetto-copies have the adorable Alannas whereas the big ones have Alanna the Slut, who looks like Tinkerbell crossed with a fish with strawberry vomit on her head (wait, that's HAIR???)

Next Book: Maybe Paper Towns? I mean, I'm almost done with that thing...

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

This Is Not A Book.

I totally haven't been finishing books lately, but I have been reading. And I just wanna say... Tamora Pierce, what you don't do for me in book 1, you do for me in book 2. Man, you rock. And I just realized how many books you've written...
Possible new favorite author <3 (As in, top ten, replacing Scott-la will NOT be easy.)

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

How to Ditch your Fairy

This is totally like a month late.
Dude, this book is private-joke-inducing, fast-moving, and fun. There's still some universal message to it, making it true literature, but it's also kind of silly and cute.
And I'm tired and lazy, so I'm just gonna post this...
Maybe I'll edit it later.

-More hours in the night
-More books

Next book: Paper Towns

Monday, April 25, 2011

Nobody's Prize

K. Rant over.
This was the book that made me read Nobody's Princess because a) Greek myths and b)girls crossdressing as boys in different time periods to go on an Adventure! that only dudes are supposed to be on.
Me and my interests.
This is gonna be another dialogue because I can't think of a way to express this otherwise.
Esther: Hello, Manon.
Manon: I have a character named Esther.
Esther: Cool. I do... not have a character named Manon.
Manon: No one does. BUT THEY WILL!!
Esther: Erm, yes. Now what did you want to say to me?
Manon: I congratulate you on actually keeping that book plotiful and not going all romance on me and turning Helen into a whore.
Esther: ...Thank you?
Manon: Welcome. Welcome indeed. So is Herakles gay?
Esther:... a little.
Manon: Are he and Hylas a thing?
Esther: Not really.
Manon: Was he gay in real life?
Esther: He wasn't real in real life.
Manon: Grr! And I was hoping Theseus would come around and make a decent fiance... no such luck. Which vastly improves the quality of your writing. (see Never take my advice regarding romance unless you want your book to become a parody of random crack pairings.
Esther: Duly noted...

What would make me really happy right now:
-More hours in the afternoon
-More books

Next book: How to Ditch your Fairy. Coming at you... tomorrow. Was gonna do it now but I'm being kicked out of the living room.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011


Okay, this is going to sound weird, but I AM weird and you know that. So I'll confide in the POSSIBLE ZERO READERS OF THIS BLOG that while reading this book I was screaming at the characters, literally speaking out lound telling them what to do.
And not while home alone. I do this with PEOPLE WATCHING.
So I think I'm going to format this post as my instructions to individual characters, plus ratings on how much I liked them. (1-10, ten is the highest <3)
Honestly, you didn't piss me off too much this time. I didn't like you that much before, but you've won my appreciation <3 GOOD DOGGIE GOOD GIRL. YOU DESERVE A BISCUIT.
Ditto. You actually made me pretty happy a few times. And I got to quote you once or twice on the Wall of Epic located in my library.
So, I will always love you, being so amazingly awesome in every way. You pretty much weren't too evil. I give you an 11. (You really got a nine, but I scale two points for you being so fabulous. ALSO OLIVIA IF YOU'RE DUMB ENOUGH TO READ THIS I TOTALLY WON THE SAIA VS SISABELLE DEBATE FTW.)
Also, it's annoying how everyone in fanfiction and art thinks you have blue eyes even though book one clearly states that they are black. It doesn't remond you often though, the way it does Alec's blue ones, but in this book it comes up a lot.
End of book: YAY MY SIMON IS BACK *hug* 9.
Also, it bothers me how you were like 6'5 in the first book and all insanelytallandstuff and then in the last chapter you were all OMG IM ALL 5'6 AND SHORTER THAN EVERYONE even though you were all TALLER THAN JACE HAHAH MAN PRIDE in book 1. AND IT'S BEEN LIKE TWO MONTHS SINCE THEN SO DO NOT BLAME PUBERTY.
I love you. You're just so cute and out of your league and terrifying and I want to see you kick some demon ass and maybe make out with Simon. If Cassie loves me. (She usually loves me, so I have hope.) I was quite determined that you would return as a vampire, so there was no surprise there. We have not seen the last of you, and YOU WILL DO ANNOYING, AWESOME, AND/OR EVIL THINGS FOR ME IN THE FUTURE, NON? 10 for the rainbow armwarmers.
You were being kind of whiny most of the book, but I guess if I had just found out I was the latest in the long line of lovers, I'd be rather miffed. And then when you shoved Clary out of the elevator, I really wanted to hug you. So you get an 8.
Honestly, I really only love you because you make out with Jace. Also, you're short. Short people are awesome. (See, Sammy? I'm only mean to short people 'cuz I'm jealous.) You get a 9 for being all assertive of your femininity and not all OMG JACE WE CANNOT BE TOGETHER *WHINECRYWAILMOAN* and instead all WTF JACE YOU ARE SO OVERDRAMATIC MY FATHER IS DEAD WE ARE NOT SIBLINGS YOU ARE NOT A DEMON SO THERE REALLY IS NO REASON WE CANNOT BE TOGETHER SO SHUT UP AND KISS ME.
Oh, Magnus. Why are you such a slut? I guess I can understand TV tropes' "everything that moves" comment when you mentioned the djinn. And the genie. And the other stuff. But I still love you. Just don't break Alec's heart or I BREAK YOUR FACE. 8.
I don't like you. you get a 2 for being French.
-123456789087654321345678976543245678987654 for obvious reasons.
That to the power of googleplex. Plex. Plex. Plex. Plex.
Saving you for last. The mainchick's boyfriend always needs the most lecturing.
So, here goes.

-Jace to be a good little shadowhunter and get rid of his girlfriend's brother and OH MY GOD STOP WHINING
-More books
-My books to alphabetize and shelf themselves. I'm catalogueing by author's last name for the first time and like, I have 48 books under the letter B alone. And that's less than S, C and W.

Next book: Revolution? Idk.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Rebel Angels

I am back!
So, lately I haven't been able to get into a book at all, but today all I wanted to do was read. YES!!! It is not the apocalypse YET! (I'm still prepared for that, though.)
I read the prequel to this, A Great and Terrible Beauty, for summer reading last year. I bought the sequel but let my friend Emily borrow it since I wasn't done with the first one yet.
It took her six months to read it.
But I'm done now, and I really enjoyed it. Except the part where Kartik wasn't there. I love Kartik, or maybe I just love the added sense of holywhat'sgoingon he adds. I still don't know how to pronounce his name.
When I saw the Asa in the letter from Miss Moore, I immediately wrote her name on a post-it and cut it up so that I could mess with the letter. Witht he name Hester Asa Moore, you can make the names of several ancient gods: Ares, Hermes, Hera, and Mars. You can also make Mother, which seemed like a lead, Rooster, Rose and Sea. Then I was messing around and had Sara, then I added the H... and then it all came together. Sarah Rees-Toome! I always thought the last name was funny, she must have invented the name for the anagram rather than the other way around.
I want to read the sequel :D I need money and a trip to the bookstore.

What would make me really happy right now:
-A trip to the bookstore

Next book: aye dee kay.

Animal Farm

Beeteedubs, tagged this non-spoiler because I fugure everyone pretty much knows how it ends.
One thing that scares me vary much is when things that are not supposed to walk on two legs walks on two legs. I do not know why. I think this is the unconscious logic behind my fear of mascot-like costume thingies. So that scene where all the pigs marched out on two legs was like holyeffingwhat? And I could see it in my head, and it was horrifying.
Animal Farm is a great book. It's fairly easy to read, to the point, and a great simile for the Russian Revolution. I love the last two sentences the most:
"No question now, what had happened to the faces of the pigs. The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which."
I'm thinking of writing my own revolution/dictatorship novel-thingy. (There is a WORD for this; Courtney knows it. I heard her use it last week. I'll have to ask her.)

What would make me really happy right now:
-Winter percussion to not be over
-Big walking mascot costume thingies to not exist
-Some sushi
-More books

Next book: Rebel Angels

Monday, February 28, 2011


I really like this story for a variety of reasons. It takes place in the middle ages, for one. It involves magic but odes not entirely center around magic. Alanna herself is interesting and charismatic--I really like her. George is like, my man. And I'm always pretty intrigued by novels centering around a girl in disguise as a guy. I don't quite know why. It's intriguing to me, and the type of thing that doesn't involve anything paranormal but could never be a position I would be put in, both because it's not necessary in this society and because, well, I don't think I would pull it off very well. Despite being called a "guy" or having jokes made about me wherein I am a guy, I think it would be pretty obvious going by body shape alone.
I really want to read the sequel. Unfortunately, when I checked out our local selling-out borders, they had books 1, 3, and 4. Seriously?
But, like I said, I reallyreallyreally like this book, and you can tell because of the shortness of this post. Not one angry rant. Not one! Except I think she could have thrown in a scene where Alanna makes out with George, just for my amusement. Authors should really confer with me before finalizing their novels.
Pierce: So, Mannin, what did you think?
Manon: It's Manon. Muh-non. Ma-nawn. Mispronounce it one more time and you'll be Tamborine Purse for the rest of your life. I can make that happen.
Pierce: ...
Manon: Anyway, I think it was great, except you left out that part where George makes out with Alanna.
Pierce: What part...?
Manon: Exactly. Now, get typing!
Pierce: But, why? That wouldn't bring anything to the story, except make George and Alanna's relationship really awkward. He's several years older than her, and it's been established that Alanna thinks he's lying and is actually older.
Manon: It's the middle ages! People can do stuff like that then! That's why we write in that time period, isn't it?
Pierce: I was more interested in the swordplay, feudal system, roles of men and women, and association with magic...
Manon: Personally, I think the scene would win you fans.
Pierce: Why?!?!?!
Manon: It would appeal to a broader audience. And it would be funny. And more people would talk about it, making more new readers.
Pierce: Somehow that just doesn't seem likely...
Manon: Of course it's likely! If Suzanne Collins had made Katniss make out with Finnick like I said she should, Hunger Games would be Harry Potter but bigger!
Pierce: I just don't understand your logic...
Manon: My logic is the most logical think about me! It worked for Rowling!
Manon: RonxHermione, HarryxGinny, HarryxCho, that other dude and that other chick...
Pierce: I think Rowling's success can be more accurately linked to her amazing development of a supernatural world existing alongside our own, her creative magic, her enticing plots, her engaging action, her charismatic characters...
Manon: And her pairings! Don't tell me you don't think HarryxGinny won her some fans.
Pierce: I honestly doubt it.
Manon: That would be me.
Pierce:... oh.
Manon: See? Now, run along and write me that scene, and then I shall approve of your novel.
Pierce:... [mutters] there's something wrong with that girl...

What would make me really happy right now:
-Considering I just wrote that last post on Mockingjay five minutes ago, you can kind of just take a look at that...

Next book: Perks? Who knows?


I literally just finished this minutes ago. I'm still kind of numb from the ending, but I liked the way it ended--with Peeta. Someday kids will be reading this instead of To Kill A Mockingbird, and I like that, but it also scares me. Katniss, Gale, and Peeta didn't seem quite real to me. But the society--that was reality. It was life. It was humanity. And I don't want it to be real.
I have two very big fears. One is death. I don't want to die. I cannot imagine not existing in this world anymore. Also, I want to leave an impact. I cannot go forgotten--I can't! I need to be smarter than Napoleon, more powerful than the medieval Catholic Church, more inspiring than Gandhi, more interesting than any Hapsburg and even more immortal than any artist or writer or philosopher. Maybe these things are far outside of my grasp, but I have to try! Doesn't everyone want to try? Your life is precious. For God's sake, do something with it! The concept of dying forgotten is terrifying in a new kind of way.
I am also afraid of endings. The last time I enter a room; the last time I see a person; the last chance to take part in something. I am afraid of regret.
I am also afraid of things that are already dead. Bodies of people, creatures, anything. I cannot stand their presence. Will they return, soulless, vengeful, come to take me with them to their realm of hatred and sorrow? I do not like death.
This book unsettles me. It is about death, and it ends. Death makes me feel very alone in the world. Right now, I feel very alone. Please, come, I need your company. Please don't die. Please don't kill me.
Let's live forever, and may our book never end.
I think that's how my mind works.

What would make me really happy right now:
-For someone to buy me the second book in Tamora Pierce's series Song of the Lioness, the individual installment entitled In the Hands of the Goddess.
-Sushi and magic sushi powers, see my last post.
-More books
-A green beret.

Next book: Perks or Alanna.

To Kill a Mockingbird

So, I hate this book. And I kind of like it.
It was one of those "curriculum" books, y'know?
The Negative Post (Where I vent my feelings...)
This book is a poorly written, verbose account of an interesting event told in the point of veiw of a Mary-Sue-ish elementary school girl named Scout. Scout has very little personality and I do not connect with her at all. The story is written in a way that rambles on about events or concepts that have absolutely no bearing on the story whatsoever and just made this book that much more painful for me to drag my eyes across these last couple of days. The number of words Harper Lee uses to convey a simple message is completely unnecessary. Her paraphrasis irks me.
The events in the story are significant. I tried writing in the same style used by Lee, and it actually worked quite well in getting me interested in the story I was writing as I was writing it. However, it still sounded rambly and I am convinced another person reading it would feel the same toward my prose as I feel toward Lee's. In short, the story is awesome, but the style truly needs work.

What would make me really happy right now:
-A few more hours in the afternoon to read
-More books
-Some sushi
-The magical ability to make any food taste/smell like sushi
-Including mac and cheese ^

Next Book: Mockingjay, unless The Perks of Being a Wallflower doesn't distract me.

Friday, February 25, 2011


Manon is not happy.
Manon is very not happy.
Manon is so unhappy that she's going to speak in third person for this whole post. Or at least as long as she remembers because when she's angry it's hard for her to concentrate.
I am team Fang. I think Max belongs with Fang because the book was written so that the reader becomes emotionally attatched to FangxMax. (Hey, look! I already dropped the thir person thing! Wow, my attention span=squirrel on---Hey look! A pencil!) When Fang and Max parted at the end, I wasn't totally into the whole DylanxMax thing, as Max was not either. I truly felt as if the guy I used to love had just left me with a possible new boyfriend while he fights evil with my clone. This is pretty good writing, but That Is Not How You End A Series!!! That's what EPILOGUES are for. You get me all sappy and pissed and THEN Max and Fang go make out in a corner and everyone's happy again. Or you write another book. You do not leave Manon feeling pissed. Not. A. Good. Idea. And now Manon has to read To Kill A Mockingbird, which she REALLY DOES NOT WANT TO DO. (See next post with a detailed description of Why That Book Sucks.) (Hey look! Back to third person!) Manon isn't happy now. Manon wants to go die in a corner while ripping up old photos of Max-Manon and Fang, which is not how miss Neverhadaboyfriend Manon should feel after reading a mediocre novel several grades below her reading level. Why does Manon torture herself so? Because words are addictive. Or something. But Manon thinks ther should be a law against ending a Whole Frickin Series (like, seven books long) by crushing her hopes and dreams AND THEN LEAVING HER TO READ TKAM IN UTTER SADNESS AND DEPRESSION. (Authors need to pay more attention to the fact that some (strange yet existant) teenage girls have a habit of using their novels to cushion the blow of the bad stuff, like having to read books that suck and not having a boyfriend. Why does this keep going back to that?)
You know Manon very angry when she leaves out the verbs, because Manon a grammar snob.
Manon isn't going to post any more tonight because Manon is very angry.

-Angel to have a better ending
-Angel to have a whole sequel that's way better (Called Iggy, duh.)
-Some sushi, beeey-otch.
-Not having to read TKAM (not even going to bother spelling it out. It's not worth the effort.)
- a boyfriend

Next book:TKfrickinAM

Sunday, January 30, 2011

This Is Not A Book.

So, remember when I fangirled all over the place about Arkarian and Isabel? Well, guess what Ms. Curley did in the Key?
And nooo, I haven't actually read it yet, but it's gonna take me a while to get to that point. Why, you ask?
So, I read the prologue like my life depends on it while my mind shieks "WHERE IS ARKARABEL?"
Chapter One

Okay, so, I hate Rochelle, but I can stand a couple chapters of her whineyness in between my Arkarabelness.
Chapter Two

Heh. Well, it's book three, right, the last of the series, so she must be doing chapters in all the character's POVs. Yeah, that must be it.
*flips to next chapter*
*flips through entire book*
Yeah, like that.
No Isabel. No Arkarian. Just my two least-favorite characters. Maybe even less than Marduke. And that is saying something.
So yeah, my Australian time-travel novels have betrayed me.
If anyone knows any really good Arkarabel fanfics, link me in the comments. And I will read the Key, just not necessarily right away.

What would make me really happy right now:
-Arkarabel Fanficciness
-Sarah and Savvy to come back XD
-More books? XD

Next book: I will commence finishing Mockingjay.

Friday, January 28, 2011

The Dark

Okay, sorry for the lack of reading, (if anyone actually reads this asdfghjkl) I've been pretty blech lately and this is the first time I've been able to focus on a book. However, I'm not all gone-- this took me less than two days to read--that's still low for my standards but we're getting better. Healing takes time. So, the following is copy-and-pasted out of MS Word, so italics and stuff might not show up. Don't go all grammar Nazi on me; that's my job.
Oh, and Bee-tee-dubs, I tagged this non-spoiler but if you haven't finished the Named there's one tiny little detail that might spoil something, I don't know.

Australian time travel novels. I mean, AUSATRALIAN TIME-TRAVEL NOVELS. I love you, Marianne Curley, random Australian chick who writes awesome stuff.
You know, there is in fact a distinct possibility that I wrote these books. Doubt it? Well, if time travel is possible, then Future Manon could magically travel back in time, publish a book under a different name, and just wait for normal me to find it. The following are my reasoning:
-First, Marianne Curley and Manon Garulay, especially when you use one of the common mispronunciations Gurrlay, kind of rhyme a little. Also, even if you protest that Marianne Curley is a “normal person” name and thus I Manon would never even consider associating myself with it, well, there you go: if I want to hide something from myself, such as my own association with it, I make it normal. Note that I’ve ever done this before. It’s just one of those things that you think about…
-Second, Isabel. I have this character that I use in, like, every other one of my books. Her name is Isabel and she has blonde hair (usually) and either brown or dark blue (or occasionally green, but usually brown) eyes. Now, look at Isabel of the Guardians of Time. Blonde, brown eyes… Ding ding ding we have a match. Maybe my Isabels are usually a bit quirkier, weirder, etc., but still. It’s uncanny right down to the spelling of her name.
-Third, time travel and the Middle Ages. It is quite clear that my dear Marianne has a thing for Medieval history. So do I, my friend, so do I. Also, I recently wrote a novel about time travel that spent a lot of time in the Middle Ages. But not only does she focus on the period of history between the fall of the Roman Empire around 500 A.D. and the Renaissance/Enlightenment/Scientific Revolution that took place around 1500 A.D., she also dips a little into ancient Greece and Rome as well as colonial America. Not just America, if I remember correctly she specifically mentioned in the first book, The Name,d that this part took place in Colonial Massachusetts, the area of actual history that I have had the most in-depth and early understanding of as I have been exposed to and interested in this time since early elementary school. But anyway, Marianne and I share a bit of an obsession with certain parts of history.
-Fourth, and most importantly, IsabellexArkarianASDFGHJKLQWERTYUIOZXCVBN <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Yeah, that many hearts. You know I don’t award hearts very often, so this is a special case. If I were to come up with one romantic pairing that was in my mind ideal for a scifi/fantasy novel to make me want to squeal and heart all over my blog, it would be my dear Isabel and a blue haired, purple eyed, magical dude that was born in the Middle Ages. Like, ASDFGHJKL. I have no words. And you know that with me that doesn’t happen often –cough-. I mean, even though he’s like six hundred years old he’s still not all twilight-creepy. He’s like, I don’t know. MIZ CURLEY YOU HAVE RENDERED THE MOST VERBSE TEENAGER IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD WORDLESS. No one in the universe has the power to do such a thing. Thus, Marianne Curley must be me.
-Fifth, she’s AUSTRALIAN. Australia has cute little koalas and kangaroos and accents and, from December to June, Scott and Justine. Sounds to me like a nice place to go, right?
I don’t know about you, but I think I need to call this woman up and ask her, like, stuffthatonlyfuturemewillknow. You know?

What would make me really happy right now:
-For Marianne Curley to call me/email me and me like, "I IS FUTURE YOU WITH AN AUSTRALIAN ACCENT FTW!!!"
-OOOH OOH OOH did you know Australians spell "pajama" "Pyjama?" /off topic/
-SUSHI. What else?
-More Australian time-travel novels. They own.

Next book: The Key, by Mariann Curley, of course! Australian time travel FTW.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Nobody's Princess

Okay, so if this post sounds any different than any of my others (or if there's actually anyone reading this) it's because I have a reading log due for English class and I figure it would kill two birds with one stone to just hand my teacher a few pages of bloggage and be like, I read.
So, on to the book...
Nobody's Princess
is a novel by Esther Friesner about a Spartan princess named Helen who will someday become Helen of Troy. The story shows her childhood in ancient Greece surrounded by heroes and Greek mythology. The interesting thing is that it is written rather than having the mythology as fantasy but as religion, thus to the character truth. There is a lot of contemplatence about the religion itself, and the fact that Helen likes certain goddesses more than others, particularly Aphrodite over Artemis.
The author spun the story a lot, however, and in some ways I wonder for what reasons. The real Helen of Troy was kidnapped by Theseus as a child. This would make an awesome plot. However, the author left it out completely, although Theseus does make an appearance and hints that Helen needs a husband to "calm her down." On the other hand, the author does add in a lot about Helen being more rebellious, taking secret swordfighting lessons with her brother's teacher and learning to hunt from her mother, then later learning to ride from the huntress Atalanta and helping her in the boar hunt.
I like the rebellion, and the fact that even though Helen was sort of a pretty brat in the beginning she became bearable once the story got started (I'd never have been able to read it otherwise) but there seems to be a lot of plot taken out of her story.
And, the one bit of creative licensing that the author is fully entitled to yet bothers me excruciatingly is the fact that Sparta traditionally had two kings, five ephors, a council of advisors, and a citezen class. Athens, on the other hand, had a democracy. In this story, both have rather simple monarchies, and Helen's family passes the crown through the daughters.

What would make me really happy right now:
-Some sushi
-Some crab rangoon and duck sauce. Like, major craving right now.
-A greek princess dress. I'll have to sew myself one.
-More books.

Next book: Nobody's Prize, the sequel to Nobody's Princess.

Monday, January 10, 2011

The Gift

One thing I love about James Patterson is that his books read quickly. That's important. I like that.
Like W&W, I was expecting a little more from this, but we're getting better. I hope book 3 makes up for it all. It probably will.
I'm not sure what I think of this yet. I like it, but anything past that is hard to say. I think it's just that my brain's a little foggy at the moment. I have been sick, if it's any justification.
I'm gonna ignore the metaphors and stuff in this one and just go straight to the pairings, because anything beyond that is making my head spin. I think Whit's going to get over Celia in the sense that he's going to stop trying to stay loyal to his dead girlfriend. I think I like him with Janine. And Wisty? the Weasel Swain is getting better, but he's still a creep. I wanted her to end up with Sasha, but it's looking a little more in Emmet's favor right now. But I love Sasha. He's just so... *sigh.* I wanted Wisty to be with him from the first time he came into the story. Even though I don't know much about him, I know more about what makes him tick than I do Emmet. If Emmet's character gets developed a little more in the next book, that might change.

What would make me really happy right now:
-To be able to compose a decent blog post. As you can see, this one sucked.
-More books. Always more books.

Next book: Not even gonna try. I'm thinking A Prince Among Frogs or Mockingjay.

Friday, January 7, 2011

The Goose Girl

This is the second Shannon Hale book I've read so far, and I think she's won me over. My minor critique is that her characters are sort of... I want to say walled, in the sense that you're not so much in their head, experiencing the story with them. You don't see oh-so much personality as you want to with your usual YA fiction. However, the justification to this is that it's written in the eloquent style of an old-fashioned fairytale, which traditionally lacks the personal connection between the characters and the readers or listeners.
What I liked about this one is that I can identify with her, and I can honestly say that for once, if I had been in her position, I would have reacted more as the spoiled brat, kicking and screaming, that she did. I also like that dispite starting out as a rather weak character, she continues to gain strength throughout the book and by the end I feel that she's overcome most of her internal struggles, which is admirable.
i did find Geric or whatever his name was to be a little bit boring, and I sort of felt the same way about the maindude in Shannon's other novel that I've read, Book of a Thousand Days, but in both he is a surprisingly nonpresent character.

What would make me really happy right now:
-To not be sick
-To not be going to a funeral tomorrow
-For my fever to go away
-For there not be undoubtably a gigantuan pile of English and French homework waiting for me on Monday. "Hey, we're so sorry about how you're sick and your releive died and you feel like crap on a variety of levels, but we'll make it up to you: here's some homework to keep you busy even though we all know you would rather be reading."
Yeah. Right.

Next book: The Gift, I'm guessing, but have I ever been right?

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Hush, Hush

I tagged this non-spoiler, but it might contain a minor or two, so be warned if you're picky.
Bonjour! So, when I took a look at this book, it having to do with angels and nephilim, I was like, OOH! Mortal Instruments Family! But then I started reading. See, the thing about the book is that it flies, which is a plus. However, it has a major, major Twilight connection. The mainchick is a plain but attractive brunette, the dude is dangerous, her biology partner, and possible attempting to kill her. Cars are stolen. There's a stalker scene while the girls are on a shopping trip and get split up. A crazy inhuman chick tries to kill her out of revenge and she gets tortured to hurt the maindude by an inhuman blond. She lives surrounded by fog in a rural, relatively coastal area. Maindude has an expensive car and a "dark" past. Someone watches mainchick sleep. Mainchick has limited but existing knowledge of self-defense that she never actually uses. You know, I had only thought of, like, two of those until I started writing this. There are so many and probably more.
However, I gotta say, it was better than the Evil Book. Just in case you were wondering.
I thought the mainchick was pretty weak. I hate weak mainchicks, just in case you were wondering. Hate them. Now, a mainchick that starts out kind of weak but goes badass by the end of the book, now that I can live with. But if she ends up pretty much the same person she started out as in a fantasy or sci-fi book with a long series of traumatic events, well, in real life she'd end up changed. In the book, it's vital.
Patch was likeable but not the greatest. I want to see more personality from him in the sequel, if I read it.
Now, I am not totally hating on this (well, I sort of am, but not completely) because it was a page turner. It kept my interest and whipped by, despite its *cough* flaws. So, if I read the sequel, I have some expectations: More personality. More originality. Less Twilight.
Honestly, if in book 2 Patch leaves her, she dies of patheticness inside, and she meets a dude who is also inhuman but not, *cough* a fallen angel, then I will proclaim it suckish, and Becca Fitzpatrick will probably be sued for copying Twilight.

What would make me really happy right now:
-For the next book I finish to pwn the Twilightness out of this last one
-Some sushi, b****!

Next book: Either Goose Girl, Nobody's Princess (or Nobody's Prize, whichever one is first) or Mockingjay or Paper Towns or whatever the heck I want.
Can you tell that my mood has become less than sublime?

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Catching Fire (Post #2)

Sorry about the delay... if anyone actually reads this :D
So, Catching Fire...
My last post was mostly about the romantic situation and the actual reading of the book, so I guess I'll have to dig deeper into my mind and spirit and get a less cough cough shallow commentary.
I think the metaphor of the whole Hunger Games situation is sort of that of the world not only now but in the past: certain people are suffering greatly, whether it be poverty or extreme hunger or fear or disease, while (or so that) other people can live in extreme luxury.
Take Imperialism: the Europeans are like the capitol. They were living in comparatively extreme luxury, with their fancy factories and big guns. They take over the little areas (and big, well-controlled empires) in Africa and Asia, make the people work under dangerous or unhealthy or unfair conditions and exploit their land, then use their technology as a threat in case of revolution and give them little freedom. In the same way, the districts are controlled, governed, exploited, enslaved, and threatened with superior technological power.
And in the same way, some places are treated better than others; places like District One are more buddy-buddy with the capitol the same way, oh, Brazil was with Portugal. That was the best example I could think of off the top of my head, it's not perfect since Brazil was actually at one point the capitol of the Portuguese empire when the monarchs needed to leave Europe when Napoleon tried to conquer them. Or Spain. I forget which.

What would make me really happy right now:
-A nutella burrito
-Some Australian time-travel books (those are the destiny of my Amazon gift card :D )
-For school to start at 10 AM

Next book: either Mockingjay, Hush, Hush or The Gift. Right now odds are in Hush, Hush's favor, but as you must realize this is always subject to change.